How to Throw a Great Dinner Party

Around the world, sophisticated couples areknock over their wine glass. So the rule is, put the
discovering the joys of the dinner party ... andwater tumbler on the right of a wine-tasting glass.
encountering a series of difficult dilemmas. How doHere, the essential factor is the height of the
you set a table with wine-tasting glasses? Whatglasses - which should descend from left to right."
should you bring when you are invited to dine?In general, Roberta Mascheroni links the entire
Roberta Mascheroni, an expert on good manners,table setting to the convenience of the diners.
reveals the rules that govern dining andThe centrepiece, for instance, should never be
entertaining, clearing up the knotty issues thattoo large to present an obstacle to seeing across
cause most embarrassment and uncertainty.the table. But as it is such an attractive part of
Over the last five years, the country thatthe table setting, even in limited space there
invented etiquette has rediscovered manners.should always be some flowers (not highly
Italy, home to Castiglione's The Coutier, has beenperfumed) or, if you want to be creative,
reconverted to formality by the Ii Galatea a testsomething like a display of fruit. In really cramped
of the Milanese aristocrat Roberta Mascheroniconditions do not omit a centrepiece (or, even
who teaches at La Scuola delia Cucina Italiana, inworse, take it from the table during the meal) but
Milan, Italy. Her advice ranges to areas of lifesimply put a flower in a small vase by each place
unknown to a Renaissance courtier like Baldassaresetting.
Castiglione (he never wrote an email), but itFor similar reasons of respect for your guests,
focuses on Masheroni's special passion - thethe napkins should not be presented in intricate
conventions of elegant dining.shapes. It is actually much more convenient for a
Dining, because it offers such clear opportunitiesguest to use a napkin that has been simply folded
for embarrassing gaffes is one area she feels weinto a neat rectangle. A concern for hygiene is
all have much to learn about. "The essence ofalso better displayed in a simply presented napkin
good manners," she says, "is genuinely wanting torather than one that has been manipulated into an
put the other person at ease. They are just aexotic form. Clear logic also dictates the precise
way of putting into practice the Christian principlepositions of your plate on the table. This should be
of treating other people as you would like themat a distance of two fingers from the table's edge
to treat you." At a formal meal, however, goodpositioned so that if any food drops from a
intentions are not enough. The best way to makeguest's fork, it will be caught by the table, not his
a good impression is to know the rules. Take thelap. Of course, now that service plates have been
present you bring your host. A nice bottle ofintroduced - these ensure that the guest never
wine? Absolutely not. "This is one example ofsits at an empty setting while a new course is
where a lot of people go wrong. It is not goodbrought - the rule changes. As a service plate is
manners to bring a bottle of wine. Obviously, youritself designed for catching any falling morsel, its
hostess will have organised a meal and chosen aedge is precisely aligned with that of the table
wine that perfectly accompanies the dishes. But ifitself.
you bring wine she will feel that she should open it.Roberta Masheroni also argues that, as the
If you know the rules, it is easier. If you reallyconventional place setting is not arbitrary but
have to bring wine, always bring two bottles andfunctional, it presents only limited room for
clearly say, "for another occasion". If you are apersonal creativity. "Lots of people like to show
hostess and a guest brings wine or a dessert, youtheir personality and imagination by giving their
must do the same. Thank your guest and telltable setting a distinctive feature. This is absolutely
them that you will enjoy it together at anotherfine, but I suggest that if you want to do
time."something a bit different with your setting, do it
There is also a sophisticated protocol for settingwith just one aspect." For instance, you could
the table. As fashionable couples across Europedecide to have a different colour napkin rather
increasingly entertain their friends at dinner parties,than one that matches the tablecloth. This is fine,
it is one of the areas where Roberta Mascheronibut if you want to do this, make sure that
finds she is most often asked for advice. She haseverything else follows the established pattern.
also been forced to extend the conventions ofYou could also use coloured glasses if you like, but
established guides as changes in dining presentagain make sure that everything else is according
new quandaries.to the rules. And only use the coloured glasses for
For instance, one fundamental convention for awater - a wine connoisseur will not appreciate
place setting is that the knives are on the left andhaving a glass that prevents him from enjoying
the forks on the right of the plate. They arethe colour of his wine".
positioned in order of use, starting from the outerOne specific area where she notices that
edge, with the knife blades pointing towards theconvention is already changing is with wine glasses.
plate and the forks' prongs (unless you are inIt is, she says, now common in some of the
France or in the house of a francophile Piedmontmost sophisticated homes and restaurants to set
aristocrat) curving upwards.places at which each diner will have wine from a
But what about the fork for spaghetti? "There isdifferent set of glasses. The resulting variation in
one particular issue that creates a lot ofheight and shape is actually an attractive and chic
uncertainty. If you serve pasta, where do youeffect. She is also very enthusiastic about another
put the fork? Now a lot of people, reading theslightly unusual approach to place setting - giving
traditional style guides will read that all the forkseach guest his or her own salt and pepper pots.
go on the left, so they will put it on the left. InAgain, this has a clear functional logic - allowing
fact, the reason for putting forks on the left iseach diner to apply the precise quantity of salt or
simply because you use them with your left hand.pepper that suits his or her palate.
But a fork for spaghetti (and you should only setA further tip for the host is to serve white wine
a fork - if your guest wants a spoon as well, heand young red wine in a jug, as this helps to
can ask) is held in your right hand. Put it on theremove the chemicals that can cause headaches
right. And the same goes for a spoon forbut always present the bottle alongside. If
minestrone.necessary, do this on an trolley or small table
The current trend for wine tasting presents arather than on the main table. And always aim for
further complication. "The convention for glassesoverall harmony of colours and forms - so that
is that they should be in a diagonal line above theyour centrepiece, for example, has the same
plate to the right. The order from left to right isshape as the table, round for a round table or
water, red wine then white wine. Some people willsquare for a square table.
say that the centre of the red wine glass shouldFor guests, the crucial points to remember are:
be in a line with the principal fork. If you have abring a gift - either flowers (a bunch to be sent in
fourth glass for dessert wine (and never set aadvance, not brought on the day, of an odd
table with more than four glasses), then it goesnumber over five) or something personal like a
above the red wine, which moves slightly out ofbook; do not put your hands on the table in Britain
line with the water and white wine to give itor America (although in the rest of the world you
room."can and in Italy it is actually considered odd to
These rules, however, cannot be applied when theleave your hands on your lap); and, finally, use the
meal involves wine tasting. "The appropriatecorrect signal when you have finished a course -
glasses for wine tasting are far too big to be putif the plate is considered as a clock, put your
in the traditional position. If you are going to tasteknife and fork together at twenty minutes past
more than one wine, in fact, the best thing is tofour. A final point: good manners are no substitute
take away the first glass and replace it ratherfor good intentions. An elegant dinner depends on
than have both on the table simultaneously. Thereunderstanding etiquette, but impeccable manners
is another problem with water. This, according toand settings do not guarantee a good evening.
convention, goes on the left, but to make spaceRoberta Mascheroni reminds all her pupils at the
for the larger wine-tasting glass it is best to serveprestigious Scuola di Cucina Italiana that, unless
water in a tumbler that is much lower than the tallthey genuinely want to put people at their ease,
wine glass. Put this on the left and every timetheir dinners will never be successes.
your guests want to take a sip of water; they will